Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Celibate Out Of Nowhere
Everyone has their own beliefs and morals, but it's also important to know what you are getting into when you enter a new relationship. If I said it once, I say it a million times, you have to let each other know how you are going to manage your sex life. Communication definitely makes or breaks a relationship and if you are not upfront about your beliefs or behaviors, it's going to lead into a lot of misunderstanding. Everybody's sex drive is different and everyone has their own opinions on what's acceptable sexually or not. Of course there is no right wrong amount of a sex life in a relationship, but whatever amount it is has to be through a compromise between the two people.
It's different when you are first dating and trying to get to know each other because if you are making the person wait because you are celibate or a virgin, at least you are giving a person the heads up since both of you have specific expectations, but once you are serious and then all of a sudden your sex life stops abruptly is a huge problem. If it stops because of physical issues, that's different as long as you get checked out, but if your partner just says out of nowhere, "I think maybe we should be celibate," that's a bit strange. A person can't help but to feel like they are being rejected because why would this person make this type of rule if you are already serious in the relationship. Of course 9 times out of 10, most likely the person doesn't want to be with you anymore and that is their excuse of breaking up with you. Saying that you are celibate sounds like a safe way to say you want to break up, but it's still a little shady not just because you are being dishonest and unreasonable but also you are afraid to talk about your problems with this person so you can fix them.
It is so important to know where you are at in the relationship before you get too serious. It's best to be friends first, no not friends with benefits, I'm talking about being friends so can get to know each other a lot better. Hang out enough to get a feel of where you see each other especially sexually. Sex is very important to majority of people in relationships and if you can't talk to your partner about it, then please break up. You can't read each other's mind nor can you make a person do something they are uncomfortable doing so talk it out with each other. If you are the type where if the person is bad at sex you will break up with them, then tell them that's your rule. Let them know how you want to be pleased. If you use the celibacy excuse because you are gay, tell them. Don't be afraid of your sexualtiy, yes society is against it, but how often is society right about issues. Honesty might hurt, but it will save your life in a blessed way even if it's a curse.
Has someone ever told you they were celibate out of nowhere? How did you react? Do you think celibacy is normal? Would you date a person that's celibate?
Posted by TIAJ at 9:24 PM