Friday, May 24, 2013
Dating Your Best Friend's Ex
Many things causes dating your best friend's ex to be a stigma because it's the idea that it's disrespectful and you are sharing that person. That person is literally being passed around if they are moving from friend to friend especially if they are mutual friends. It's understandable to be skeptical of the friend and the ex depending on the timing of the break up. If the couple just freshly broken up and now all of a sudden the ex is dating the other friend, it looks more suspicious because then it's like, did the plan out the break up so them two can be together? Did the friend wait for their best friend to break up with their partner so they can hook up? It's very weird and then the friendship becomes awkward. If it has been years later since the break up then where's the stigma in all of that.
As far as the sharing aspect of it, most people find it awkward especially when the friend and the ex are always around because when the ex was with the best friend, the best friend would go back to their other friends about their many escapades and adventures they had which gave the other friends a visual of what went on. So now that the new friend has a chance with ex, they now know exactly or at least has an idea of what they are getting into because their friend told everything. Yes, that seems very weird, but some people do say what's kept in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom, so if you let it all out, don't think that people forgot about that visual about the special pole dance or a position you invented. It's understandable that it can be hard to not talk about your amazing sessions with that person when you were together, but if you are they type that don't want anyone dating your ex, check the type of friends that you talk to because some of them might take mental notes about your significant other or they could stay out of your business.
Now if you are going to date your best friend's ex and the friend is ok with it, some poeple feel that there are still rules to doing so:
Think about it, you are dating your best friend's ex, everybody knows what they did when they were with the other friend. Yes, you might've triend new things or positions yourself, but your friend did give you ideas ahead of time.
Don't Always Complain To Your Friends About The Relationship
It's really weird to complain about the same things your best friend complained to you about. So now it's like you are experiencing deja vu. You might as well take your own advice that you used to give your best friend when they were having problems. Maybe an advice or two here and there is ok, but hopefully it's on something different than what you guys used to talk about.
Limit The Amount Of PDA
You don't want to rub it in your friend's face that the two of you are now a couple. Even if you are not trying to or being too affectionate, just be respectful of others around you.
Take Things Slow
Try not to fall too quickly into the relationship. Even if the two of you are friends, still make sure there is some type of compatiblity there just like dating anybody else. This is very crucial if the best friend and the ex just recently broken up because then it goes back to sharing the person and waiting for the old relationship to end so the two of you can be together. Either way still take your time because love shouldn't be rushed.
Some of you might be thinking these rules are full of crap and that's just an excuse to hook and you might be right, but others might actually use the rules and put it to good use. As long as nobody gets hurt, do what you want.
I knew some people that did the whole dating the best friends ex thing where the friend actually insisted on their friend dating the ex. Even though nothing happened, it's interesting to know some people don't find it a big deal. Just make sure that if you are one of those people that don't mind dating a best friend's ex, just be safe, be respectful, and be healthy.
Have you ever dated your best friend's ex? If so was it awkward for you? Is there even a stigma with dating your best friend's ex or even a family member's ex? mmm....
Posted by TIAJ at 10:01 PM