Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Dealing With Emotions

Emotions are what makes or breaks us about how we feel about something in our everyday lives, but sometimes even our feelings have stigmas within society.

       In 1999, there was a movie out called "Boys Don't Cry," starring Oscar winning actress, Hillary Swank. It was about a transgendered female that lived her life as a boy and was even involved in a relationship with a girl. However the title of the movie is what causes debates about emotions in the first place. Therefore the question becomes is it ok for men to cry? It ok for even women to cry? Can couples cry in front of each other? Are we taught to be or not to be emotional or is it natural?

       Men crying has been a stigma for as long as people first existed. Hypermasculinity is at the core of manhood for most men because of expectations of what it means to be a man. Whenever the term crying is floating around a guy it's related to words like weak, punk, sissy, woose, baby, and other words that could be considered too derogatory. At a young age a boy is taught to stand up for himself and to stop crying even if he is badly hurt. The expectation is the fact that men are suppose to be the protector and no matter what comes his way he is to defeat it even if he can't. When you look at disney movies or movies in general it teaches young boys that men are do-ers and have to save the world, protect the women and children, everything is action pack and touch. Therefore crying is a waste of time. Of course society allows men to cry only at funerals or finding out they themselves are dying. With everything else they are expected to man up.
        When it comes to women crying, it is done with a different approach. This means that certain situations either causes an emotional breakdown on women or it allows women to be feminine to men. At a young age some girls are taught that if they cry their dad or older male figure consoles and protects them. Other girls are taught that crying means they over dramatic or way too sensitive. Some women even use crying to get away with situations just because it shows femininity especially in relationships. Some girls aren't afraid to cry in front of their partner because it lets him know that he needs to fix something or protect her from something. For some guys, a girl crying means she's throwing a pity party, she can't handle because she's sensitive or even that she is being a punk or baby. So sometimes the stigmas towards men can also be towards women. It can make you wonder if crying in life ever ok?

       No matter what situation is killing us inside it is important to find healthy ways to cope with our emotions and it is ok to cry. Crying can be healthy for your eyes and spirit. Sometimes you need a good cry to be stronger and goes for men and women. For some people if they hold their tears in too long it makes them go crazy because they never released their tension. At the same time what do you think? Is it ok for a man to cry at all? If you are in a relationships with a man can he cry in front of you? If so what is he allowed to cry about? When is he allow to cry? Can women cry in a relationship? When and what can she cry about? Feel free to express your thoughts.

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