Friday, May 24, 2013
Friends With Benefits
Being with a friend with benefits is a complicated thing because almost always one of the two people gets attached. Even if they didn't have feelings in the beginning or within the first year of the friendship, it builds up later in the relationship. Often times there are miscommunication with the title. The one person could think that there is no strings attached, but the other person assumes that because there is sex then there is a legit relationship so then it gets awkward. Another thing that happens is that once one of you get a significant other, the other person might get jealous even though you weren't together to begin with so then a friendship might get ruin.
Since there are potential complications with this title there are rules that most people develope when establishing the relationship. Here are some that some people take into consideration:
Some people feel like texting should be your only communication when you are in a friend with benefits situation. Being that it is just a sexual relationship you can't treat it like you are dating. When hooking up, your text messages should be to the point and self-explanatory of what you are getting into that night, notice I said that night and not day. This means that booty call hours are operated because you are just getting with each other for sex. The main indication is that yes you are friends and it's ok to hang out, but the communication is limited as far as discussing any intimate details because you are trying to use each other for sex. Also sexting is not recommended because you might have some nosey friends in your group.
When sleeping over, don't get too carried away with overstaying your welcome. Even though you are just sex buddies, you still are regular buddies to so some people don't want to be too rude when kicking the person out. Since you are using each other for sex, you are following the booty call rule and just hitting and quitting it. Therefore what most people suggest is to keep your socks on during sex. Not because of the whole idea that having socks on makes you orgasm quicker, but it's that you don't want to get too comfortable at the person's place. Especially if the might potentionally catch feelings, cuddling and spending the night might push it. Once one of you leave, you are allowed to either walk the person out the door or give them a goodnight or good morning kiss goodbye since y'all are still friends, hopefully they will be out before dawn.
Obviously pet names are a no-no because again you are not in a monogamously committed relationship. Therefore you shouldn't have little cute names for each other. You might have nicknames, but leave it at that because pet names are a lot more initimate especially if it's based off of either a position that one of you did or a skill they performed on you or even a physiological effect based off of arousal (use your imagination with that one lol). So, just keep it simple with calling each other by your first name and keep it moving.
Greeting Each Other
Being that you two are friends, then be friends. Since there's benefits involved, in public there is to be no PDA. You are not a couple, especially if you guys share mutual friends you don't want to make your sexual relationship too obvious that anything is going on. So maybe do some high fives and hand shakes or even a dap, but no intimate smooches. Hugging is acceptable though. When hanging out with each other, balance it out with your schedules meaning if you are around each other a lot, don't make it suspicious enough to the point where other people question your status. Don't go out to dinner, or movies, give each other special gifts or anything that is considered dating unless it's like a group of you guys, not recommended. You don't want to confuse each other that it's turning into a relationship.
Those rules were like the four main rules that some people might go by. It might not be all the way accurate, but it was enough to sum up the status of the title. What were some of your rules if you were in a FWB? Did they help? Are the rules I listed bogus? Can friends with benefits ruin a friendship?
If you are in a friends with benefits situation make sure it is safe and fun, and don't let your emotions get the best of you!
Posted by TIAJ at 1:57 AM