Well I guess it's important to set boundaries for each other to get rid of some of the tension. Having common grounds will keep both parties at their respected distances. If your partner wants to have a night out with their friends, let them go without saying anything. If they want them to come over to the house, just make sure you have your me-time somewhere else or hang out with your friends. Don't worry too much about the friends especially if your partner knew them longer than you.
Humor always lightens up the mood. When you build up a sense of humor with your partner's friends then it might be less awkwards, but the problem with that is eventually they might get really annoyed by you. They say "If you can't beat them, join," but sometimes it's best to just mind your business. If you go about bringing humor to the situation at least you can say you tried. Just don't get too humorous to the point it embarrasses your partner.
Being cordial is very appropriate for the boundaries you set even if you hate the group or person. All you need to do is say hi and bye unless you just want to completely ignore them. Don't say anything and leave them alone. The most their friends can do is make fun of you back, but again it's best to just ignore them. Or you can just be friendly to them and if it feels weird then so be it. At least you are trying to make it easier for everyone to be happy.
Of course once again, communication is important in a relationship or at least to some people it is. Talking to your partner will answer a lot of the questions you have on why there is so much with you and your friends to begin with. When discussing the topic, make sure you word it in a way so that they won't feel offended because remember it's their friends not yours. If they can't give you a solid answer then let it go and just grin and bear the friends when they are around. Maybe it's not meant for you t know why they hate you or why you hate them.
Sometimes what can happen is, your partner's friends are mutual friends with you, but once the two of you became a couple then jealousy built up. The friend's could complain that you guys hang out with each other too much or the friends will say that you are whipped or sumbissive. So there could be tension between you and the friends because of pure ignorance. Therefore at least you know it's not something you specifically did on purpose, but a change in dynamics and routines happened and it's questioning the friends around you and your partner. Just know that it's all about priority. Everything has to have a balance. You are not always going to get along with everybody, but you can only start with you to set standards.
If you were in a situation where the friends hated you or you hated the friends, how did you handle it?
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