I can hear y'all yelling at me now especially the fellas, "GTFOH, if he likes the d*** he's gay!" I know that's what y'all are saying, but when is the gay line too thin for men?
NOTE: THIS IS NOT A GAY BASHING POST. THIS IS JUST SOMETHING I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT AS FAR AS SOCIALIZAION WHEN IT COMES TO EXPERIMENTING WITH THE SAME-SEX. That is all.
Anyways, so in our society, it is filled the most ignorant and controversial comments about the gay community. People say all the time that gays chose to be gay and that there is no way someone is born homosexual. Of course I believe they are born that way just like people are born straight. When it comes down to gay men vs. gay women, lesbians are usually more acceptable than gay men. I don't know why, but they are. It's seems like it is ok for girls to experiment with each other because we are having, it's feminine, sexy, I mean just the whole girl-on-girl action is such a turn on for men. There are things like "Girls Gone Wild," you never hear "Boys Gone Wild," and if you did it probably won't have as much sells or ratings as the girls. Even Tyra Banks had a segment when she had her talk show about "Barsexuality" which is a straight girl that kisses other girls at the bar. That just seems a bit silly and something that someone just made up to give girls more options to experiment more. Since straights girls have all these options is it the same for men?
If I had a group of 100 straight men and asked that question, all 100 would without a doubt say, "Straight men are not allowed to experiment because it's just gay," but I have a feeling that at least 95% would make that comment and the rest have either had a thought about another guy and wouldn't act on it or just think it is ok as long as there is a head's up. Just think about it for a minute. There are straight men that admit to having man crushes on celebrity guys maybe because of their styles or they have the same interests or they admire how they take care of themselves and there is nothing wrong with that. To actually act on a man crush is quite different.
There is a lot of hypermasculinity going on within men. It's to the point where anything can cross the gay line. Something as simple as compliments can violate a bro code. I've heard of things like a man can't compliment another man's jeans or of course they can't call each other nice or cute, no complimenting body parts, just so many things. They can at least say things like "That hat looks cool brah, where did you get it from?" as long as it doesn't sound like they are attracted to each other. As far as touching each other, if a guy gets a haircut another guy can't touch it, he can look but that's it. It's like everything is a boundary between each other.
As I mentioned before, as far as experimenting it seems like it is ok for straight girls to hook up with each other, but with straight guys that is crossing the line. A guy can have a man crush but they can't get curious. It's like once a guy is "bicurious" he's on the down low and is waiting to come out. This is most likely has a lot to do with the expectations of being a man. Men are suppose to be the protectors and providers so therefore it translate them into being touch and hard and always ready for action at any moment. If they show emotion or cry at some point then off the word punk gets thrown around or "bitch." Of course the word "bitch" applies to being gay in society. So men have to really be careful with their actions with other men.
One thing in regards to experimenting is the confusion of socialization. What I mean by that is, if a guy were to go to jail and let's say he's been in jail for three years, at some point he finally has sex with another guy, some people might say that he wasn't being gay he was just sexually frustrated. Now if a guy were to come out saying he is bisexual, that is not true because once a man likes the penis he is automatically gay. How silly does that sound! Why is one situation gay and the other not when it involves the same concept? So then it's like what is being gay for a man? Don't get me wrong, there are people who feel that both situations are gay, but the majority that say it's two different things is just the idea of socialization. It's almost like it's not about a situation being acceptable but more so understanding. The guy in jail has been around no women for three years so of course he's going to want some action whereas the guy who's bisexual is just not telling the whole truth.
There is so much controversy with this topic because there is no answer to socialization. I definitely believe that a man can be bisexual just like there are women that are bisexual. Why should one gender be of a certain orientation and not the other. Expectations of gender roles and being a certian gender has way too many rules that don't always apply to everyone. Everyone is different and everyone has their own orientation that identify with. Sometimes people can take the gay line stigma a little too far. It shouldn't matter if whether or not a guy or a girl can experiment because that is their business. Socialization and hypermasculinity has made a lot of confusion with our society. If people want to experiment in their own way, then let them be.