Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Everything's Great Except...

You know how you are with someone that everything you ever wanted in a mate, but their bedrooms skills make you go, "Are you serious!"
           Intimacy is very important in a relationship. There is nothing like connecting with someone you love dearly. Especially if you have been single for a long time and then finally you found what you think is your soul mate. Unfortunately they have some work to do downstairs. That is like the biggest disappointment because of course you are thinking long-term with this person and bad sex is the last thing you want to happen. So what do you do? How do you have that talk with your partner?
           Well, it all comes down to what the couple considers bad sex. For most people it has to do with rhythm, for others it's body odor, and some it's the chemistry alone. Anything can cause intimacy to be off. Sometimes it's not always the other person that is not pleasing you because you could be not pleasing yourself. It is very common for one to play the blame game on the other person for not meeting up to your own needs but it's important to know our own bodies as well. Once we recognize the problem that's where communication comes into play.
             This is where it gets tricky because we tend to get hesitant when discussing this with our partner. A lot of it is because of expectations and fear of embarrassment. You don't want to hurt your partner's feelings but speaking up can really resolve a lot of issues. With men and women it can be a little different because with women, we are already a self-conscious species especially if we don't like how our bodies look so sometimes we could blame ourselves for bad sex. For men, they have egos and their egos are equivalent to glass. It is very fragile and delicate and once it's shatter it is all over. So when approaching your man with intimacy issues you have to be really careful because it seems more of a big deal to him than it is for the girl.
             For something people, they feel like a relationship is all about the sex. If their partner is bad at it then that is the end of the relationship. It might sound harsh but there are people out there with that standard. It might bring up a couple questions like, "Are people born with certain skills?" or "Are being in relationships a learned behavior?" Everyone is different so then the question becomes what is good sex? For some people having an orgasm is all you need. For others, love makes great sex, for some it's the chemistry alone. Again, this all depends on the couple. It's important to experiment and explore with each other to know what acceptable and what's not in the bedroom. If you are the type this vocal about everything especially with your needs, the approach is the hard part with your partner.
Just know that communication is usually important and your expectations have to be realistic. If you want a fulfilling love life you have to find a way to meet each others needs.

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