Everyone has some type of standards when it comes to finding someone that you want to be compatible with. There are certain that you are like well they do this but I'll look past it and there are others things that you just can't completely tolerate so then you feel like you have to take matters into your own hands. Fixing someone or shaping them into what you want to become is such a common issue in any relationship. It is such a frustrating task for both the changer and the changee. The changer wants the changee to do and be whatever the changer wants them to be or say and the changee just kicks and screams (maybe not literally) but wants to put an end to the situation.
So why do people want to mold someone instead of accepting the person for who they are?
Well it goes back to my posts about control issues and as well as standards or maybe even bad boys, where I mentioned about wanting control. Usually the girl always wants to change guys into what they want them to be whereas most guys just be with the girl they want to be with. Some people just have really controlling ways that causes them to be afraid to let go. They feel like if they don't tell anyone what to do then they loose their power when it shouldn't be about power it's about working as a team. Often times it's because they are so highly attracted to that person that they want to keep the person as long as they could, but the person doesn't measure up to the standards that matters the changer the most so then they have this idea that they hope things will change over time or they will be the inspiration to them changer and as we know 90% of the time it doesn't work.
Even if the person does change sometimes the pace of the change causes problems because the changer wants things done at a certain time which can be a control tactic. Everybody wants what they want but sometimes it's not going to happen when we want it so therefore it brings on frustration because it's almost like we are missing out. Sometimes patience has to be the answer to most of our problems because if we rush change it may not come out the way we want them. People should know that changing a person isn't going to solve anything because you wouldn't want anyone to change you. A person is not going to meet up to every single standard you have, but they could have more good than they have bad and that's what you should focus on.
This is a clip of Tyrese when he was promoting his book, "How To Get Out Of Your Own Way." Here he mentioned about some the things I talked and gave the idea that women use men as "pet projects." Check it out below: