Grudges always start off with some type of argument or incident that escalates to a totally different level. Two people could be talking about something that doesn't have anything to do with an argument, but then you disagree on everything. Anything can cause a grudge because the wrong buttons are pushed in the person. A grudge can last from a week to a year to 10 years depending on the hate level of the two people. Are they healty? No, but everyone is different and they handle situations differently.
I had a phone conversation with one of my guy friends about grudges and we discussed the dynamics of the love triangle that can drive a wedge between people. Knowing that two people can play you at once is a hurtful thing because you went into the situation thinking that something could get worked out, but then you realized they were justifying the situation. Manipulation is such a degrading thing to do to anybody and that can be enough to cause a grudge because trust issues can into play. Trust and emotions are very stong yet delicate and once it's shattered the grudge level increases. It is important to know what you are getting into when talking to people because you never know what they could do to cause you to not speak to them again.
If you have a grudge make sure you forgive on your own time that way you can get your mind right in the meantime.
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