Monday, May 13, 2013

Arguing And Communication

Everybody argues in any relationship we are involved in. It's healty sometimes it's healing, but it can get out of control. When is it to far and what are you suppose to do?

     Of course everyone communicates and argues differently so when there is a conflict it is important to find a resolution and not let the problem linger forever. Most of the time people automatically arguing means yelling, screaming, and carrying on when it simply just means you have a dispute with others on a situation whether you agree or disagree. I think people's definition can sometimes cause a void with one another. Some people are considered avoiders that either want the other person to shut up all the time or just want to avoid every problem that comes their way. Avoiders sometimes also feel that talking is a waste of time especially if it is about something negative. They would rather just leave the situation and move on. Communication is usually limited with avoiders because talking about problems is usually uncomfortable for them.
     Other people could be considered as confronters. They are the people that have to talk about the problem right when it happens and have an open communication about it. They feel like if there is no discussion about the problem then it is dishonest and agrivating. Confronters and passionate about fixing the problem and very expressive. Majority of the times confronters always seem to hook up with avoiders which creates more of the problems than any outside problems.
      With that being said it is so easy to get caught up in a fight with someone when you argue so differently. The main thing to focus on is the ability to make it through every problem you have no matter what type of relationship you have because once the emotions are involve things can get ugly. Sometimes the emotions can make the problem seem worst than it is so therefore you have to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation and  get to the root of the problem itself. One issue that people get caught up in relationships with is lying. I am also a big fan of Tyrese and when he played, Jody, in the movie, "Baby Boy," there was a quote he said that goes "I'm out here on these streets everyday telling these hoes the truth. I lie to you because I care about your feelings," and it caught my attention because some of my guy friends explained to me that it is a true statement.
      Therefore some people feel like lying in a relationship is necessary because sometimes the truth will kill the mood or situation. It's just like when some women will ask their boyfriends "Does this dress make me look fat?" the boyfriend don't want to really want to say "Yeah a little," because he knows his girlfriend wants to hear the answer she wants to hear instead of the truth because the truth will cause the argument in the first place.

If lying is necessary, what lies are acceptable? Do you think it is ok to lie in any relationship?

Just know that whatever arguement you have or whatever communication style you have, always compromise and not control. Yes it is hard to not be controlling or to compromise, but practice always makes perfect!

       Below is a video done by the youtube sensation spokenreason. I understand it has nothing to do with the source of the topic, but it's always nice to put a little hunor into things so here he is demonstrating his perspective on relationship communication.

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