Friday, May 31, 2013

Tamar Braxton's New Video

Tamar Braxton has a new video out for her song, "The One."
         The song has the music from Biggie Smalls song, "Juicy." I actually like the song. It's cute, she sounds different. Her voice sounds a little bit softer than when she talks, but it could be because she is singing. The video has a cute scenery as well. She is scene on like a dock singing in front of a car next to a guy. The very pregnant singer takes advantage of the summer coming soon by frolicking in the Santa Monica Piers. The song will be feature on Braxton's second album that will hit stores in September. She premiered the video on her reality show, "Braxton Family Values," as well as BET's "106 & Park," through a live face-time chat. Check out "The One" above.

Love In The Workplace

You ever go to work and see that one co-worker and be like, 'The things I would do to them."
         People find love everywhere or find lust as well. The workplace is sometimes one of those places. When you see somebody you like that you work with, it tends to be a great motivation to go to work. It makes you work harder just so they can see you achieve and see passion from you. Sometimes you think you should make a move or they should make a move especially if you feel like a boss yourself. Crushing your co-working often times make your morning grooming more put together because it's like you are dressing to impress everyday. If you find out they like you to, it's a jackpot, but is ok to date them?
        They say you shouldn't mix business with pleasure, but what if you can't help how you feel. Love and romance with your co-worker is a very complicated thing because anything could happen. They could probably have a crush on you and now you keep flirting with each other so much that your boss notices. The co-worker could be a distraction to your job either because you can't stop thinking about that person to the point you can't concentrate on your work or you act really funny when they come around because you have butterflies in your stomach, but then you embarrass yourself in front of other co-workers.
        Sleeping with them is on a different level. If the two of you do it with no strings attached then at least you can move on from it because you fulfilled your fantasies and didn't put forth any feelings. It might get awkward being around each other, but at least there is an understanding. If one of you do get attached off of it being a fling then that's when you have come back to yourself and realize they are just a co-worker. If the two of you decide to date, that's very tricky. If you guys break up that is going to hinder with your work ethic and the relationship with the co-worker. Since you have to see them everybody you have to figure out how to separate work from personal issues with them even when the break-up just recently happened. It would be different if one of you quit and got another job because then if you do decide to date you don't have to worry about anything being awkward. It's going to be a weird look in front of other people because they might notice different things about the two of you or they might get suspicious of your whereabouts so if you are going to mix business with pleasure, it's best to go about it with no strings attached.

Have you ever dated a co-worker? If so, how did it turn out? Is it ok to date your co-worker?

Thursday, May 30, 2013

New Show-Pregnant And Dating

TV is moving from "16 and Pregnant," to "Pregnant and Dating!"

        WE TV is going to be premiering a new show called, "Pregnant And Dating" starting tomorrow at 10 p.m. The show centers around five women that are looking for love while preparing for a new life. The concept is to take away the pressures and the downsides of being a pregnant single women and show that women can have a change with the right guy with a belly.

         Reality TV is already so spontaneous so this show just adds on to the circus. The women go on dates with guys that don't mind the fact that she is ready to pop. There have been many concerns about the show because people already complain about MTV having the show "16 and Pregnant" and "Teen Mom" when the trailer for this show came out people wrote in questioning their intentions. People were wondering why would a women want to go on the date knowing that her life is going to change when the baby comes and take over her schedules? or why would a guy want to go on a date with a women who is carrying another man's baby. Some people even think that the men on the show have a pregnant fetus or a craving for bellies and seeking out women who will fulfill their fantasies.

          I don't know what to make of this show because it's like it's really silly, but at the same time at least they are grown women and not teenagers. It's also funny how in society it's criticized when a women is having a baby out of wedlock, but yet you have shows like "Bridezilla" where you would just rather stay single. It goes to show that it's not about having the typical, perfect, all-American lifestyle where you have to be married with kids when you have reality TV showing that you pretty much do whatever you want. These women seem fine to be on the show to find love while pregnant, whereas other women have no business getting married if they're going to be brats throughout the wedding process.

Check out a sneak peek below:

Boy Breaks Down Sex Between Men And Women

This 19-year-old boy was speaking the truth about male and female perspective on sex.

            I give him so much credit because so people (mainly teens) don't understand the mind sets that we have that are way different from each other and he pretty much spoke the truth. Men and women are wired so oppositely that it seems impossible to understand and deal with each other. This boy pretty much explains that as boys their mind is too focused on their sex drives because that is how they are built. He then goes into detail about the behaviors and actions that boys do that women get caught up in. There is a saying that goes, "For women it starts in between her ears, and for men it starts in between the legs," and it's accurate. Women are built to be very emotional whereas men are built to be physical and somehow we have to meet in the middle.

            It's good that this guy had the courage to reach out to the world to explain how he feels about the concept of sex between men and women. His video reminded me of something that R&B singer, Tyrese, said that had to do with his book, "Manology." He mentioned that there are some men that will sleep with a women and even if the sex is good, he still feels lonely. Some people might wonder how does this happen, but it's because if you are just running through random people without getting to know them then you will feel like there was no mental stimulation to begin with that built a connection. Some people get so caught up in the physical because that person just turned them on so much that you can't help but to give in. So then he mentions that it can be important to make love to a women's mind because when you do that then everything else is a breeze. I'm sure most women can agree with that.

So, enjoy the video and comment below about your POV of what he said that you either agree or disagree.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Beyonce's Encounterment

I'm sure most of the world saw when that fan grabs Beyonce's behind and then she told him he needed to be escorted.
        It's crazy how even though that was a once in a life time opportunity to touch your favorite singer, but to touch them in private areas knowing that are married is a bit awkward. Yes, to most people the artist being married or not doesn't make a different, but out of respect for the artist at least touch their hand. However sometimes the artist do be close to the stage enough to touch them or rip off their clothes.
        At the same time could the way they dress have a lot to do with it as well. When artist wear something very revealing a fan can't help to want to experience everything they are seeing. How often do you get to see your favorite artist in general especially touch them. No a fan shouldn't harrass them, but they can't help themselves when coming in contact with them. With that being said, was Beyonce the one to be blamed because of her choice of clothing or the fans.

Do You Wonder If....

They say that women are always on a emotional roller coaster. You never know when they are in a pit of rage. Yes, it's true that most of them get mad for no reason, but do you ever notice the majority of serial killers are men?
          This is not to say that there aren't any female serial killers, but there is a news story or a headline about a massacre or a bombing, 9 times out of 10 the killer is identified to be a male. Why is that? I thought about this and had a conversation with one of male friends about this because I never understand why it's set out that way. No, there should not be anybody killing anyone, but being that there is always a complaint that women are always anger, you would think they would cause more damages and shootings that have occurred in this world.
          As I was talking to my guy friend he explained that often times what might cause a serial killer male to lash out is because the female drove him to it. No, that is not an excuse to go off and kill people or yourself but I can see that being a reason. Also the women finds entertainment within his reaction especially if she feels like she is making him feel guilty. It seems kind of silly because I wonder how far can you go to hurt someone's feelings. It's best to just leave that person if they break your spirit.

Do you think there are more male serial killers or female?


Going through a heartbreak is one of the most painful things one could go through especially if they don't have anyone to turn to.
      Rebounds are someting people use to cure or heal their wounds from a break up. It's a way to get over the situation. You want to have a little fun and what better way to do it than to do it with someone else both literally and figuratively sometimes. At the same time you are pretty much using someone to get over your feelings in hopes that you don't see that person again. It might start off as a one-night-stand and then you might get start to feel that person or get to know them in other ways. One might also see this as taking advantage of your single life. You could've probably dumped the person and now you are finding someone to prove the ex that you are doing better than them. Of course people get too caught and don't always benefit from rebounds.
      People don't usually look for anyone specific to rebound with because they are just a distraction to your past situation. Prolonging a rebound relationship varies from person to person depending on the emotional state that they are in. Most of the time they end because you don't want anything too serious because you already have so much baggage. Sometimes people make their rebound temporary because they start to realized that the situation is doing anything to them especially emotionally. They might be friends with the rebounder or just completely cut them off so they can get themselves together. It takes time to get over a relationship especially when you have invested years into it, but it's important to know your worth as a person. It's ok to have rebounds and long as the other person is ok with it to, the only problem though is the other person could get attached. When that happens it's best to just talk it out explain what your intensions were and come to a common ground so that both can be satisfied. Understanding helps a lot.

What do you think of rebounds? Are they ok to have?

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Celibate Out Of Nowhere

What would happen if you were dating this person for a long time, everything is going good and then all of a sudden they tell that they are celibate.
          Everyone has their own beliefs and morals, but it's also important to know what you are getting into when you enter a new relationship. If I said it once, I say it a million times, you have to let each other know how you are going to manage your sex life. Communication definitely makes or breaks a relationship and if you are not upfront about your beliefs or behaviors, it's going to lead into a lot of misunderstanding. Everybody's sex drive is different and everyone has their own opinions on what's acceptable sexually or not. Of course there is no right wrong amount of a sex life in a relationship, but whatever amount it is has to be through a compromise between the two people.
          It's different when you are first dating and trying to get to know each other because if you are making the person wait because you are celibate or a virgin, at least you are giving a person the heads up since both of you have specific expectations, but once you are serious and then all of a sudden your sex life stops abruptly is a huge problem. If it stops because of physical issues, that's different as long as you get checked out, but if your partner just says out of nowhere, "I think maybe we should be celibate," that's a bit strange. A person can't help but to feel like they are being rejected because why would this person make this type of rule if you are already serious in the relationship. Of course 9 times out of 10, most likely the person doesn't want to be with you anymore and that is their excuse of breaking up with you. Saying that you are celibate sounds like a safe way to say you want to break up, but it's still a little shady not just because you are being dishonest and unreasonable but also you are afraid to talk about your problems with this person so you can fix them.
          It is so important to know where you are at in the relationship before you get too serious. It's best to be friends first, no not friends with benefits, I'm talking about being friends so can get to know each other a lot better. Hang out enough to get a feel of where you see each other especially sexually. Sex is very important to majority of people in relationships and if you can't talk to your partner about it, then please break up. You can't read each other's mind nor can you make a person do something they are uncomfortable doing so talk it out with each other. If you are the type where if the person is bad at sex you will break up with them, then tell them that's your rule. Let them know how you want to be pleased. If you use the celibacy excuse because you are gay, tell them. Don't be afraid of your sexualtiy, yes society is against it, but how often is society right about issues. Honesty might hurt, but it will save your life in a blessed way even if it's a curse.

Has someone ever told you they were celibate out of nowhere? How did you react? Do you think celibacy is normal? Would you date a person that's celibate?

Can You Believe This?

A few weeks ago I did a post about childfree by choice rights and this story is one of the reasons why I support those rights.
        This 25-year-old man had the nerve to put his daughter in the freezer just because she was crying. This is exactly what I mean by not everyone is meant to be parent and parenting shouldn't be forced whether you are married or not. His girlfriend came home and saw that he was taking their daughter out of the freezer and immediately called the cops. At first when police arrived they saw no signs of any effects of the cold temperature. Once taken to the hospital the baby's body temperature dropped to 84 degrees. Luckily the child is fine after reported being in the freezer for about an hour. The child's father is charged with attempted murder.
        This definitely adds to my reasons why people should think twice before having kids. It's ashame that couples that deserve to have kids can't seem to concieve, but the couples that are highly fertile always seem to get pregnant, but don't know how to properly take care of their children. I understand that parenting is hard and frustrating, but if you don't know by now that babies cry, please don't have any kids. If anything kids should help you be a better person so their kids hae somone to look up to, but instead they let their anger get to them and take it out on the kids. This story needs to be a lesson and not an add-on to this crazy world we live in.

Monday, May 27, 2013

9-Year-Old Boy Protesting

This 9-year-old boy is too cute. He protested at his school with a speech about the Mayor's school closures policy.
          Asean Johnson got everyone in Chicago to their feet when he was expressing how important education is to the young people. He made headlines on other blogs and news articles for having the courage to not be afraid to stand up for what he believes in. He even quoted from Martin Luther King about believe in dreams and rising as a nation to come together to make a difference to the world. His video was first posted on and had gotten many ratings for his inspiring speech.
           When I first saw I was almost in chills. He sounded so mature for his age. You can tell he is a smart kid especially when he is standing up for education. I felt like I was at church as he was speaking because it was so powerful. I hope this video will be a wake-up call that there is hope for our future especially out kids because education gets to so many opportunities. I don't know the whole situation with the Chicago mayor, but from what it sounds like, many kids are not being able to finish school. Here's Johnson's interview below after his speech.

Happy Birthday Left Eye

Today marks what would have been Left Eye's 42nd birthday.
         Former TLC singer, Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, charmed fans everywhere with her spunky ora and fun personality. To honor her stage name, she would put a black mark under her left eye as well as a piercing on her left eyebrow. Her and the group was all about promoting safe sex by wearing outfits with condoms on their overalls and hats. They used to get criticized for it because people thought the group was promoting sex in young people.
         During her years with TLC, they became one of the most successful groups with their chart-topping albums and smashing singles. They came out with their first album, "Oooooohhh.....On The TLC Tip," in 1992 and it sold six million copies. The album feature their hit singles, "Aint 2 Proud 2 Beg," "Hat 2 Da Back," "What About Your Friends," and "Baby-Baby-Baby." Their second album, "CrazySexyCool," went on to sell 15 million copies featuring the songs, "Waterfalls," "Red Light Special," "Creep," and "Digging On You." The song, "Digging On You," had it's own edition where the audio was the girls live performance on the CD single that they did a video for. Their third album, "FanMail," was a tribute album to their fans. The song, "No Scrubs," made a name for itself because it was like the all-time female anthem about men who are just up to no good. In response to that song, New York rap group, Sporty Thieves, made a diss track called, "No Pigeons," using the same music bashing no good females.
        In 2000, Left Eye went on to go solo and came out her first solo album, "Supernova." It was released in other countries before being released in the US, but it didn't too well. She was about to come out with a second album called, "N.I.N.A," but she had issues with her label, Arista Records. She noticed her albums kept getting cacelled in th US even when she promoted them on her website.
       Within her love life, she admitting to having been through alcoholism and domestic abuse which caused her personality to be fiesty. She stunned the world when she set her ex-boyfriend, Andre Rison's, house on first by putting his tennis shows in the bathtub and throwing a match in it. On TLC's E! THS she explained her situation on how she went about it saying "I couldn't find no size six," said Lopes. She also explained that she took her frustrations out on their house that they shared becuase of the ongoing abuse he had perfomed in the relationship. She reported to have been beaten and no freedom while dating Rison causing her to lash out the night she caused the housefire. She was sentenced to five years probation and therapy for her incident.
        On April 25, 2002, Lopes and nine of her friends were having fun in Hondurus when they got into a car accident having swered a couple of times hitting two trees. Lopes was the only one killed due to head trauma and neck injuries from being flown out of the window. Before crashing, Lopes friend that was in the passenger seat had filmed Lopes driving into her last few seconds of her life that later appeared on Lopes documentary, "Last Days Of Left Eye." her documentary was very errie and controversial because it showed her preminiscions and flashbacks on her life and how she felt about herself spiritually plus showing herself getting swerved off the road into her death.
        Before Left Eyes death she had completed her fourth album with TLC titled, "3D," which featured the single, "Girl Talk." Being that it was released after Left Eye's death the video showed an animation representing Left Eye and at the very end was a quick aknowledgment of the rapper and a cartoon of the whole group. In 2008, a tribute album was released in her honor called, "Eye Legacy," that had unreleased tracks she made before her death and songs done by other artists that she was associated with. Her legacy as well as TLC remains a women empowerment movement as well as youth empowerment to people and artist everywhere.
        Earlier this months announcements were made about the TLC biopic that stars Drew Sidora as T-Boz, KeKe Palmer as Chilli, and Lil Mama as Left Eye. So far there is no set date on when the biopic will be released, but VH1 has been doing promo pics on what will be shown in the biopic, showing legacy and career of the girls and Left Eye's moment during her solo time.

Happy Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day to everyone out there. A big salute to all of the troops out there and R.I.P. to all the ones that fought hard until their death.

               I give the veterans and soldiers so much credit because I can just imagine what they go through everyday when they are in the military. I don't know exactly what their daily routines are, but to constantly be in war the majority of the time must be scary. Experiencing trauma in your face is just heartbreaking especially if it's one of your own peoples. Then on top of that, you have to be away from your families for years at times which is a big change.

               Being apart from your families goes back to my post about long distance relationships. If a couple is a newlywed, how do they handle being separated for a long time? Yes, you are suppose to make it work, but physical communication is so important in a relationship. If you have kids you have to do a lot skyping to see them. At least with skype you get to see and talk to the people you love. Soldiers have to go through so much and the pressure to do so is just so forceful.       

 On a lighter note, "Fast & Furious 6," and "The Hangover 3," were in the box office memorial day weekend. "Fast & Furious 6" surpasses "The Hangover 3" grossing in at $120 million and "The Hangover 3" grossing at $41.8 million.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Hating Your Partner's Friends

There is nothing more awkward than being in a really good relationship, but their friends hate you or you hate them. So what do you do?

             Well I guess it's important to set boundaries for each other to get rid of some of the tension. Having common grounds will keep both parties at their respected distances. If your partner wants to have a night out with their friends, let them go without saying anything. If they want them to come over to the house, just make sure you have your me-time somewhere else or hang out with your friends. Don't worry too much about the friends especially if your partner knew them longer than you.

              Humor always lightens up the mood. When you build up a sense of humor with your partner's friends then it might be less awkwards, but the problem with that is eventually they might get really annoyed by you. They say "If you can't beat them, join," but sometimes it's best to just mind your business. If you go about bringing humor to the situation at least you can say you tried. Just don't get too humorous to the point it embarrasses your partner.

              Being cordial is very appropriate for the boundaries you set even if you hate the group or person. All you need to do is say hi and bye unless you just want to completely ignore them. Don't say anything and leave them alone. The most their friends can do is make fun of you back, but again it's best to just ignore them. Or you can just be friendly to them and if it feels weird then so be it. At least you are trying to make it easier for everyone to be happy.

              Of course once again, communication is important in a relationship or at least to some people it is. Talking to your partner will answer a lot of the questions you have on why there is so much with you and your friends to begin with. When discussing the topic, make sure you word it in a way so that they won't feel offended because remember it's their friends not yours. If they can't give you a solid answer then let it go and just grin and bear the friends when they are around. Maybe it's not meant for you t know why they hate you or why you hate them.

               Sometimes what can happen is, your partner's friends are mutual friends with you, but once the two of you became a couple then jealousy built up. The friend's could complain that you guys hang out with each other too much or the friends will say that you are whipped or sumbissive. So there could be tension between you and the friends because of pure ignorance. Therefore at least you know it's not something you specifically did on purpose, but a change in dynamics and routines happened and it's questioning the friends around you and your partner. Just know that it's all about priority. Everything has to have a balance. You are not always going to get along with everybody, but you can only start with you to set standards.

If you were in a situation where the friends hated you or you hated the friends, how did you handle it?

Shawty Lo Cancels His Show

Rapper, Shawty Lo, gets his first reality show cancelled due to the title that is depicting stereotypes of the black community.
           Known for being part of the hip-hop group, D4L, Shawty Lo carried on into doing his own thing when he broke out with his first album, "Units In The City," in 2008. The album featured the hit single, "Dey Know," that debuted at #3 on the Hot Rap Charts. Just recently, Shawty Lo was set to film his reality show titled, "All My Babies' Mommas," on the Oxygen channel, but it caused a lot of controversy and tension from the NAACP. They stated to wanting to have a pentition sign to take the show off the air because it was portraying too many stereotypes on the show including the title alone. The Oxygen station later wrote a press release saying that they will be in the process of cancelling the show due to it's irresponsible nature. Shawty Lo later claimed that other stations reached out to him agreeing to work with him on the show.
           In the video above, Shawty Lo explains that he didn't really like the title of his show too much because he didn't want to make it seem like he was not a good dad. He did however, wanted to show this part of his life to show what he been through and how he is making it. He has a total of 11 kids by 10 different women, two of those kids being boys and the rest, girls. So many people boycotted the show because it was showing too many negative aspects of the African American community. Shawty Lo didn't want TV to think of him that way saying, "A show don’t make my life or break my life. It is what it is," said Lo.

The New Roommate Prank

This video is crazy! What would you do if you found your roommate dead on the floor besides the obvious? What would run through your mind?

         The BlackBoxTV crew did a prank where someone was comming over to rent out a room in the apartment without realizing a murder was going to occur. The ractions on people's faces were funny, but it made you think at the same time. Would you pull a prink like this on your roommates? If so what you have done differently? How would you set it up? If I had to do this, it would probably similar and I would make my guy friends the victims just to see how scare they would really get. I would probably have my murderer walk in and do damage and then make him shirtless while chasing after the vitims, lol. Just a thought.

Let me know what you think. It's also on if you can't play it.

Happy Birthday Sakia Gunn (R.I.P.)

Today marks what would have been Sakia Gunn's 26th birthday.

             Sakia Gunn was a 15-year-old, African American lesbian that was murdered on May 11, 2003 when she was involved in a hate crime while catching the New Jersey transit. Her and her friends were partying at a nightclub in downtown Manhatten. When they left the club, they waited for the bus in Newark where they were prepositioned by two guys. When the girls told them they were lesbian the guys attacked. One of the guys, who was identified to be Richard McCullough, stabbed Gunn in the chest and fled away. Once her friends took her to the hospital, Gunn died. McCullough eventually turned himself in and was sentenced to 20 years in prison.

             This story became so controversial because it didn't get as much media coverage as it should. It was compated to the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepherd who his killers hung him like a scarecrow because he was gay. Shepherd had gotten 659 articles  written about him vs 21 articles written about Gunn. It showed that the media doesn't aknowledge those who come from a lower class community because they feel it brings low ratings to news coverages. Sakia Gunn falled in all the categories that is constantly ignored because she was black, gay, and poor which is no excuse to not to do a coverage on. Since her death there has been musicals and projects done about her story including the video above. It represents gays everywhere that suffer from bullying and to bring awareness to stopping hate crimes. The video below is a short film about what it would be like if the world was heterophobic. The film was posted a couple of weeks ago on and it was very nicely done. It's pretty long, but insightful.


Saturday, May 25, 2013

Bad Boys

Wow, bad boys, why do girls love them so much? They are bad for a reason, right?! Well it's always a tricky discussion when talking about bad boys.
           Women always complain that they can't find a good man in their life. They have slumber parties or girls night out and just have a group discussion with their male bashing conversations. They say things like, "All men are dogs!" "All they want his sex, it just annoys me!" "I wish a guy would like me for me" it is mentioned all the time. I'm sure these women want a good guy, but they end up dating the wrong person. Men complain all the time about women and their standards because they go, "Y'all don't want a good guy, you want a thug." yes this is very true that most women would rather go for a thug than a nerd, but the same applies to men going after either a good girl or a hoe. Both situations have similar reasons on why people go after the wrong type of person.
           Bad boys tend to be highly attractive looking which is why most women will chase after them. This is usually because when someone is attractive they are naturally going to get a lot of attention because their presence was so striking. Instead of keeping their cool, women will throw themselves at them. I'm not saying that they shouldn't be attracted to them because they are automatically bad, but just think about it, if a person wants to have a really good time at a party which drink do you think they are going to have all night? Liquor or just plain juice? Again same applies to men. Most guys would not want to be seen with an ugly girl around his boys even if she measured up in other areas. It's all about impression.
          Another reason is that bad boys provide mental stimulation. The mental stimulation aspect has to do with the whole "I can change him," idea. For some reason, girls like the feeling of thinking she has these special powers to transform the guy into what she wants him to be. It's very ignorant because no guy wants to be fixed nor do girls want to be fixed, but when they don't have control of something then they have a fit. Mental stimulation applies to the mind games that bad boys play especially when it comes down to communication. Girls get caught up in these tug-of-war conversations with themselves meaning they sit for hours running questions through their minds about the guy like, "I wonder when he's going to call me," "I wonder if he is going to call me," "I wonder if he loves me even though he told me he had better," his mental games pretty much bring a challenge to the game that she gets caught up in playing. Same thing applies to guys, but it's more so physical than mental. Some guys will go after a hoe than go after a good guy because hoes provide sexual stimulation. Some dudes don't want to waste their time with a good guy who has all these rules for him when he's trying to hit it and quit so why not go after someone on the same page with.
         Another reason has to do with approach. Women liked to be approached, and yes there are nice guys that approach women, but it's the way they approach is what captures her attention. Bad boys approach way differently than women especially because of what I said earlier about attraction. Bad boys are known for their swag and so women dwell on it because the swag means that they are confident. Yes, there are nice guys with confidence, but it's a different type of confidence that women notice. Bad boys radiate a certain sexiness that makes the approach more assertive and worth taking advantage of. That's why most girls like when a guy sweet talks her, yes it usually gets her into her pants, but if the flirting worked for her, she tries not to hold anything back.
       Women also tend to feel protected when they are with a bad boy. They have such a touch exterior and a mentality that nothing can defeat them so therefore women think, "He can get me out of this situation," or "He will take care of me." He might protect you for a little bit, but you are still on your own. Not all bad boys will save you, some might actually get you killed or in trouble. The touch guy exterior can only do, but so much with you. They probably would be great protectors if they weren't assholes.
        Here's one of the biggest reasons besides the idea of fixing a guy which is that girls like drama and who provides the drama, bad boys! Some girls like the feeling of wanting what they can't have which ties into the mental games because it's all incorporated into drama. Bad boys tend to be more exciting because they have no fear nor do they care about anything. Nice guys tend to be boring to some women especially if she's the type that gets bored easily so therefore bad boys bring in all the fun that she desires even when it's the wrong fun. Even their conversations are interesting either because their voice is very deep and seductive or they say things that they want to do to you that you like or even their sweet talking sounds mysterious. Since bad boys are usually not approved by the parents, it makes girls want him even more by sneaking off with him because bad boys are spontaneous.

Now if you are the type is ok with dealing with bad boys, then so be it. It's not recommended to date them, but you also can't help you are attracted to. It's just that it's not always expected to have a bad boy fall in with you the way that he wants to. Just be safe and be happy!

If you were ever with a bad boy what was your experience like? What do you find attractive about them? Can bad boys change?


You know that feeling you get when your stomach is bubbling and your mind is spinning then you sit there and go, "Am I sick!" not really you could be having a crush!

        Crushes are something that just jumpstarts our day because it brings on so much motivation no matter what we are doing. You could be cooking, but when you have a crush on someone you could be pretending to cook something that they like or cooking for them. Some crushes make you want to work out even when you don't work out often. Crushes just takes over your mind because you cannot stop thinking about this person, you just feel so passionate about them, but the problem is either they don't know you exist or they don't know your crushing them. It's worst when they don't know you exist because then you question when are you ever going to meet this person or if you did would they like you back? The good part though is that crushes can be used as fantasies especially if you are the type that is afraid to fall in love because of heartbreaks or you don't have to answer to anybody, it's just that they are just fun to think about. So when does crushing become obsessive? Here are what some people might think are the signs:

                   You Schedule Your Life Around That Person
       You literally find out their schedule either for the week or the day and you schedule out your plans so that at some point you meet up with them. This becomes a problem when your priorties affect your friends and family because there's an abrupt change it routine with you. Sometimes you could mix a priority into another priority meaning you could miss a doctors appointment because you scheduled yourself to go to the same gym with that person or you could've cancel plans with your friends because you found out your crush is going to this restaurant that you just left yesterday. It becomes too much.

                        You Fall Into The Stalker Category

         This is similar to scheduling your life around your crush, but now you are taking it to a totally different level because you are starting to stalk. This means you secretly look up their information to see where they are so you can pop up out of nowhere, you buy tracking devices to catch their every move, you might hack into their accounts to know what they are thinking, etc. You are obsessed to the point where you have to know what they are doing every minute of the day.

                  You Might Over Flirt When Approaching

      You can't help yourself because you finally found the time to actually talk to your crush face-to-face, but then you become too flirtatious. This is because you are either admitting your feelings towards them or you are impressing them too much. This is a hard situation because 9 times out of 10 it turns embarrassing especially if their friends are right there.

       Crushes have a huge affect on our emotions because most of your thoughts escapes when you daydream about them. It's ok to get a little obsessed, but don't let it affect your friends and family. Once they confront you then you might have a slight problem because you are taking your reality to the extreme. Now that you have this obsession the question then becomes do you tell your crush?

        The question for that is....maybe. It depends on how you feel. Some people have the confidence to confront their feelings others would rather take it to their grave. Some people feel it is best to tell when you notice that your crush might like you so at least when you confess, it's more comfortable. Rejection is too painful to handle at times, but some people wouldn't mind dealing with it because they see it as, "At least I know now," kind of thing. Others don't do well with rejection, but yet not telling is killing them inside. So then what do you do?

Should people confront their crushes or take it to the grave? Is it ok to obsess?

Paying On The First Date

It's the first date you are excited and nervous, at this really nice restaurant chatting away. Conversations are pretty decent and everything goes smooth until the bill comes and the both of you look at each other like now what? Not because the bill is high, but who should pay.
             There are so many expectations when it comes to dating especially on the first date. Opinions fly everywhere on who should pay, who should pick who up, or where to go. Paying is the most important thing to discuss because you don't want the other person playing you out your money. So who should pay? Well that question gets asked a lot and what I found is most people say the guy because it represents chivalry and being courteous. Others say the girl should pay just because the guy took her out, some say the couple should just go dutch. As long as the bill gets paid, negotiation is important.
              When it comes to the guy paying, women have expectations based on him making the first move with the bill. When he pays, it makes her think that he is responsible and has the key word that floats in women's head, money. Most women look for stability and someone to take care of them so when a guy pays he makes a good first impression that heightens her standards. Of course some women will pull that trick where she pretends to pay just to see if he insist on paying and the minute he doesn't mind doing so, she feels that he is being a gentlemen. Another aspect is the fact that if he asked her out, then he should automatically pay because he initiated. This goes for the women to because you are taking the person somewhere so therefore you are offering to pay for everything.
              When it comes to the girl paying, again she should do so if she asked him out because she initiated and is showing that she enjoyed the date with him. A lot of guys actually like when the girl pays to him it makes him feel like she appreciated his company and his time. Appreciation is a big deal to men so if a girl is willing to pay with no problem, his ego will be happy.
               If you guys choose to go dutch make sure it is established before going on the date. Nothing's worst than feeling awkward on the first on who should pay because one expected to go dutch and the other wanted the other person to pay. At least when you agree to split the bill, it's equal. Something that some couples do is one person pays the bill and the other person leaves the tip which is pretty smart. Either way you are both pitching in as a team.
              It doesn't seem like there's a right or wrong way on the first date I don't know who should really pay. It's important that people take turns with paying so it doesn't make the other person seem spoiled. If one person pays one night, the other person should pay another night. If two people decides to go dutch then so be it. If one person pays the bill the other person should leave a tip. You are trying to get to know each other and within that is impressing each other so it's best to do your fair share.

What are your rules for paying on the first date? Should the guy pay or the girl pay? Is going dutch acceptable the first night?

Friday, May 24, 2013

Dating Your Best Friend's Ex

Contemplating on dating your best friend's ex is such a tricky situation. It seems like there are so many rules to doing so because the ex you are persuing used to date the person close to you.

          Many things causes dating your best friend's ex to be a stigma because it's the idea that it's disrespectful and you are sharing that person. That person is literally being passed around if they are moving from friend to friend especially if they are mutual friends. It's understandable to be skeptical of the friend and the ex depending on the timing of the break up. If the couple just freshly broken up and now all of a sudden the ex is dating the other friend, it looks more suspicious because then it's like, did the plan out the break up so them two can be together? Did the friend wait for their best friend to break up with their partner so they can hook up? It's very weird and then the friendship becomes awkward. If it has been years later since the break up then where's the stigma in all of that.

        As far as the sharing aspect of it, most people find it awkward especially when the friend and the ex are always around because when the ex was with the best friend, the best friend would go back to their other friends about their many escapades and adventures they had which gave the other friends a visual of what went on. So now that the new friend has a chance with ex, they now know exactly or at least has an idea of what they are getting into because their friend told everything. Yes, that seems very weird, but some people do say what's kept in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom, so if you let it all out, don't think that people forgot about that visual about the special pole dance or a position you invented. It's understandable that it can be hard to not talk about your amazing sessions with that person when you were together, but if you are they type that don't want anyone dating your ex, check the type of friends that you talk to because some of them might take mental notes about your significant other or they could stay out of your business.

       Now if you are going to date your best friend's ex and the friend is ok with it, some poeple feel that there are still rules to doing so:

                            No Discussing Intimate Details To The Other Friends

         Think about it, you are dating your best friend's ex, everybody knows what they did when they were with the other friend. Yes, you might've triend new things or positions yourself, but your friend did give you ideas ahead of time.


                         Don't Always Complain To Your Friends About The Relationship

         It's really weird to complain about the same things your best friend complained to you about. So now it's like you are experiencing deja vu. You might as well take your own advice that you used to give your best friend when they were having problems. Maybe an advice or two here and there is ok, but hopefully it's on something different than what you guys used to talk about.


                     Limit The Amount Of PDA

      You don't want to rub it in your friend's face that the two of you are now a couple. Even if you are not trying to or being too affectionate, just be respectful of others around you.


                      Take Things Slow

      Try not to fall too quickly into the relationship. Even if the two of you are friends, still make sure there is some type of compatiblity there just like dating anybody else. This is very crucial if the best friend and the ex just recently broken up because then it goes back to sharing the person and waiting for the old relationship to end so the two of you can be together. Either way still take your time because love shouldn't be rushed.

      Some of you might be thinking these rules are full of crap and that's just an excuse to hook and you might be right, but others might actually use the rules and put it to good use. As long as nobody gets hurt, do what you want.

      I knew some people that did the whole dating the best friends ex thing where the friend actually insisted on their friend dating the ex. Even though nothing happened, it's interesting to know some people don't find it a big deal. Just make sure that if you are one of those people that don't mind dating a best friend's ex, just be safe, be respectful, and be healthy.

       Have you ever dated your best friend's ex? If so was it awkward for you? Is there even a stigma with dating your best friend's ex or even a family member's ex? mmm....

Tyler Perry Gets Criticized Depicting HIV/AIDS In Temptation

Screenwriter and actor, Tyler Perry, received some letters from the Positive Women's Network about including HIV in his film, "Temptation."
        The organizaton got offended when they saw that Perry had a couple people in the movie contracting the virus stating that it made the actors look like monsters. HIV/AIDS has been a serious epidemic for years and can effect any type of person. Perry couldn't help but to show how serious it was the movie by how a person can easily manipulate you into getting with them. There is so much misconceptions and misinterpretations about this because others also felt that Perry used HIV as being the only result in cheating. Others felt that he was enhancing the stereotype that HIV/AIDS is the highest in black and latinos. The movie made so much controversy, but on the wrong aspects.
          The whole point was to know that temptation can get you killed both literally and figuratively, but society took it down a different path. The HIV/AIDS shocker caught the most attention. Huffington Post writers had comments about the film where they commented on the idea of infidelity resulting into drastic and life-threntening in order to be appealing saying, "Whether or not one condones cheating on a spouse, the implications that a person deserves HIV is horrifying," said Michael Ryan. Even in different reviews people were writing in complaining how Perry was exploiting HIV and almost glorifying it.
          I'm pretty sure Perry's intentions were not to exploit HIV especially since it's so serious. The movie portrayed exactly what the title was, temptation. In many interviews, Perry explained the concept was to focus on the fact that you have to appreciate what you have at home even if it's boring because temptation is most of the time temporary and if you get stuck in a rut then make it work. It's unfortunate that the characters had this viral disease, but he tried to be as realistic as he could contracting a disease is one of the results of infidelity. That goes to show you how important protection is. No, I'm not saying if you're going to cheat then use protection, I'm saying cheating can a chose as well as using protection and those characters portrayed infidelity and irresponsibility. It was a big shock when Brandy revealed it first in the movie that she had the disease, but instead of it being a wake-up call to the audience it was an insult.

So what do you think? Did Tyler Perry really exploit HIV/AIDS? Are people being a little dramatic and too critical? Should there have been a different outcome?

How Do You Know That You Are Strung Along?

No one likes the feeling of betrayal or being played, but have you ever really been oblivious to the signs that someone is just taking you on an emotional ride.
         Most people has been or might end up in a situation where they were being taken advantage of in a relationship. Sometimes people don't realize it's happening because they get so caught up within the situation especially if they are madly in love with the person. Others are just so naive because they try to be so hopeful that a miracle will come out in the end not realizing that the relationship will end. Some people might also see the signs, but don't want to believe that they are being strung along because they either invested so much time in the relationship or they are just simply not sure if it's true or not. So how exactly do you know when the strings are pulled. These are some signs that people think about that indicates someone stringing you along:

               Being Standoffish In Public

        Everybody has seen those people that act like they have a split personality. When they are in private with you they are fun, talkative, excited, and socially involved with you. In public, it's like they have no idea who you are. Whaat's up with that? Well most of the time it's to impress other people that they know especially if they are seeking out someone else. That's the worst feeling when they ignore you in front of everyone because rejection can make a person feel embarrassed. You can't help but to confront them right then and there and what's with the new behavior.

                 They Never Told Their Close Friends About You

          Usual when someone is excited about you they brag to their friends about you. Friends usually all the stories or hears your name constantly in the conversations especially if it's good things they talk about. So if you are a shock to their friends it's because you weren't mentioned to them by the person you are with. It makes you feel like they are hiding you from them or that you are not important and that's a horrible feeling to feel especially if you didn't do anything wrong to them. The best way to solve that is to again confront them to see what's the deal. If there is no answer, hopefully you know what to do after that.

                They Take A Long Time To Respond

          Pretty self-explanatory, you send someone a text and then you wait....and you wait......and you wait. Then what, nothing. You want to stay calm, but in your head you're like, "What's going on with them!" especially if they are the type that are always on their phone. Or you call them and it goes straight to voicemail every single time. The suspicions jsut starting building and building to the point where you give yourself a headache. Of course there are certain exceptions to why they haven't responded to like calls or text being that their phone could've died or it was shut off, but if you have their other contact informaion they should at least respond through either e-mail or skype or facebook, etc. Therefore if you feel that they are ignoring you, just leave them alone. Don't get too carried away with constantly contacting them because you don't want to look like a stalker.

                                   They Don't Take You Seriously

         You know what I'm talking about. They get annoyed with everything you are doing or are not concerned with your feelings, but yet they tell you not to leave them because they are working on themselves. You know that is a bunch of bull....If you can't seem to talk to the other person about the problems that is going on between you two then you shouldn't really be around each other. You are only hurting each other when you prolong avoiding the issue. Put a stop to it and ask them where is this going, if' there's no answer, they know exactly what a door looks like.

Of course there are a lot more reasons than this, but this was just an overview what most people complain about. It is hard to let go of something you are used to but remember that your happiness matters before anything. If you were strung along what signs did you see that were different from the ones above?

Michael Clarke Duncan's Grave Gets Vandalized!

Actor, Michael Clarke Duncan got his tombstone vadalized by someone who hasn't been identified.
         It was reported the incident was a racist act of crime. His family is already still trying to mourning the loss of their beloved relative, but this is too much added stress. When his family went to go visit his grave at the Hollywood Hills cemetary, they noticed a black-faced drawing right in the center. The drawing was later identified as what's called "Sambo," that supposedly reperesents black people. His family then contacted the police and marked the incident as a hate crime. There still has been no arrest for the vandalization.
Prayers go out to the family.

Philly Gunman At Stripclub

On Saturday May 11, two guys came and invade a Philedelphia strip club just because they weren't playing the right music.

        Just a few days ago I did a post about club etiquette and behaviors tactics while clubbing, but now it seems like all that stuff doesn't matter unless you have a good DJ. The first guy that walked in had an argument with the manager about the music. He felt that they weren't playing the kind of songs that he liked and almost got into an altercation with him. When they kicked the guy out, he came back with an AK-47. The crazy part was the guy kept slipping when he was running back into the club and even slipping before he shot fire.
        He then sent his friend back into the club to act as his getaway to distract the bouncers of the club and to make sure they drive off in time.

Even though music sets the mood or the scene of the atmosphere, but if you hate the music either grin and bear it or leave.

Friends With Benefits

Nope, I'm not talking about the movie, but people who are in friendships by day and freaks at night.
       Being with a friend with benefits is a complicated thing because almost always one of the two people gets attached. Even if they didn't have feelings in the beginning or within the first year of the friendship, it builds up later in the relationship. Often times there are miscommunication with the title. The one person could think that there is no strings attached, but the other person assumes that because there is sex then there is a legit relationship so then it gets awkward. Another thing that happens is that once one of you get a significant other, the other person might get jealous even though you weren't together to begin with so then a friendship might get ruin.
       Since there are potential complications with this title there are rules that most people develope when establishing the relationship. Here are some that some people take into consideration:

      Some people feel like texting should be your only communication when you are in a friend with benefits situation. Being that it is just a sexual relationship you can't treat it like you are dating. When hooking up, your text messages should be to the point and self-explanatory of what you are getting into that night, notice I said that night and not day. This means that booty call hours are operated because you are just getting with each other for sex. The main indication is that yes you are friends and it's ok to hang out, but the communication is limited as far as discussing any intimate details because you are trying to use each other for sex. Also sexting is not recommended because you might have some nosey friends in your group.

             Sleeping Over
        When sleeping over, don't get too carried away with overstaying your welcome. Even though you are just sex buddies, you still are regular buddies to so some people don't want to be too rude when kicking the person out. Since you are using each other for sex, you are following the booty call rule and just hitting and quitting it. Therefore what most people suggest is to keep your socks on during sex. Not because of the whole idea that having socks on makes you orgasm quicker, but it's that you don't want to get too comfortable at the person's place. Especially if the might potentionally catch feelings, cuddling and spending the night might push it. Once one of you leave, you are allowed to either walk the person out the door or give them a goodnight or good morning kiss goodbye since y'all are still friends, hopefully they will be out before dawn.


             Pet Names

       Obviously pet names are a no-no because again you are not in a monogamously committed relationship. Therefore you shouldn't have little cute names for each other. You might have nicknames, but leave it at that because pet names are a lot more initimate especially if it's based off of either a position that one of you did or a skill they performed on you or even a physiological effect based off of arousal (use your imagination with that one lol). So, just keep it simple with calling each other by your first name and keep it moving.


                Greeting Each Other

         Being that you two are friends, then be friends. Since there's benefits involved, in public there is to be no PDA. You are not a couple, especially if you guys share mutual friends you don't want to make your sexual relationship too obvious that anything is going on. So maybe do some high fives and hand shakes or even a dap, but no intimate smooches. Hugging is acceptable though. When hanging out with each other, balance it out with your schedules meaning if you are around each other a lot, don't make it suspicious enough to the point where other people question your status. Don't go out to dinner, or movies, give each other special gifts or anything that is considered dating unless it's like a group of you guys, not recommended. You don't want to confuse each other that it's turning into a relationship.

Those rules were like the four main rules that some people might go by. It might not be all the way accurate, but it was enough to sum up the status of the title. What were some of your rules if you were in a FWB? Did they help? Are the rules I listed bogus? Can friends with benefits ruin a friendship?

If you are in a friends with benefits situation make sure it is safe and fun, and don't let your emotions get the best of you!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Being Sexy And A Criminal

Earlier Inside Edition did somewhat of a countdown on the top sexiest mugshots and I sat there and what like, "Really!"
         It seems a little silly to do a segment about showing off who looked the prettiest before doing time or doing a "Sexist Serial Killers Ever," special or doing "The Top Most Beautiful Inmates." It might make a person think is the media really that shallow and too consumed in appearance. Yes I can admit in my opinion the girls that were shown were beautiful, but it just seem unnecessary to a countdown of prettiest mugshots. A couple of years ago I did a post about attractive people having it easy and I mentioned how it seems like the better looking you are the more incidents you can get away with. As the years go by it seems like the media tends to prove me right. One controversial example I used is Debra Lafave.
       For those that don't remember her, Debra Lafave was the 24-year-old school teacher that got arrested and charged for having a sexual relationship with her 14-year-old student back in 2004. During her trials she admitted to having oral sex and intercourse with her student all while being married to her newlywed husband, Kristian Lafave. It was later reported that she had bipolar disorder which causes hyper sexuality especially in women. Being that Lafave was the typical blonde hair, blue-eyed, petite-bodied the court felt there was no reason to put her in jail because she was all-American. They literally said "She is too pretty for jail." Putting her in jail is like putting raw meat into a cage of lions. That is insane to wrap someone's head around. She is of course divorced and free and terminated from her probation a couple years ago. Even with her disorder that is still no excuse to not put her in jail pretty or not because she still knew what she was doing.
      With her stories as well as millions of other women's stories, it seems like the media has fun with using beauty as a layer to a topic. This means that they could use beauty to do countdowns for anything not even just crimes like "Top Contest Winning Hotties Of 2013," or "Biggest Boob Mechanics," etc. The media gets playful with beauty. Yes, beauty usually initiates first impression, but it doesn't always apply to anything. It does help in so many situations especially with crime. The girls mentioned in the top prettiest mugshot countdown all had their charges dropped. None of them were convicted of any murders, but it might make a person suspicious on why their situation was just as simple as getting arrested, take picture and then you are free. The media has this idea that it's like how can someone so gorgeous do such a crime? Attraction has nothing to do with the level of crime.

Do you think beauty is a factor when it comes to crime? Would you convict someone if they were beautiful or not?

Girl Fights VS Guy Fights

Fighting is such an epidemic within our culture as humans whether it is through physical or verbal disputes. Either way it causes such unhealthy or bad behavior to ourselves.
       Of course everyone goes about their fighting different especially how men fight vs how women fight. It goes back to emotions and how we deal with them. Mean and women go about their emotions very differently because of how we are wired. Women have a lot more sensitivity than men do. Men are very physical people. This is not to say that men aren't emotional and women aren't physical, it's just that typical how physiological make up differs.
         When men fight it is usually more direct and to the point. If there is a issue that has to be settled physical, then it gets done and it's over. A few minutes or a day later they forget about the whole and maybe go grab a beer or something. They tend to not be too grudgy about situations especially if it happened years before. It usually starts off with an insult, but insults are sometimes what guys use to greet each other. They might walk up to each other and say something like, "You lookin real ugly today man," and the other guy might go, "Thanks for noticin brah," and then they go about their business or play pool later. So what usually causes an insult to turn into an all out brawl if it's not that serious? What does a guy have to say or do in order for it to get intensed?
         For women, it's a little different. Since females are the more emotional creates, things are taken more to heart. Everything is passionate and over-the-top so when it comes to fighting be prepared with popcorn and a bell to start the wrestling match. Sometimes for some women it doesn't have to be an insult to them off, but a compliment. Yea a compliment can cause a dispute. The green eye monsters to float in their bloodstreams especially when a girl sees another girl in the same thing she is wearing. A conversation can start off as, "Wow those earrings kinda look nice on you," the other girl replies, "Thanks, and your shoes actually work for you," it might sound innocent, but in their minds they could be thinking, "I can't believe she looks better than me, I should kill her for that," or even, "I hope she really don't think those shoes are that cute." Eventually these girls will start competing on who looks better in what and could eventually start a fist fight because they were talking smack to each other. Now the actual fighting is intense because once the earrings slide off, best believe they will start World War Three that sometimes will last forever. For some reason it seems like females naturally go for the hair first and it makes the fight look uglier than it already is because it's more aggressive. The worst part about female fights is that it last forever and I'm not just talking about the fist fight length itself, but the after affect. Our grudges last from five months to five years and sometimes even longer than that. If girls do settle their conflict sometimes it's hours of talking it out and a lot of crying and then they are besties in hopes that it doesn't happen again.

Youtuber, Kainlengends did a video on his perspective of girls fighting vs guys fighting, here's the url for it: Enjoy!

Ray J's Leading Lady On 106 & Park

What a surprise, but then again not a surprise when Ray J brought out his leading lady with him on 106 & Park.
         Ray J appeared on the show yesterday, May 22, to explain more about his song that a lot of people have been hyping up, "I Hit It First." Bow Wow pretty much was trying to get to the root of all the controversy behind that song because the title alone is just giving it away. When ask who was the song about all Ray J could say was "I was going through a lot in my life and it's the beginning of a story," of course the audience was buying it because it sounded like he was beating around the bush. Ray J also stated that the song itself is self-explanatory.
        Later on the show he revealed that the leading lady in the video who is supposedly the Kim Kardashian look-a-like was backstage at the show. The audience couldn't wait any longer and brought her out. It was interesting to see her come out because she doesn't look too much like Kim and in the video she looks more like Eva Longoria in my opinion. The girl revealed her name to be Luba. Ray J has other projects going on his career where as I stated earlier the "I Hit It First" song is setting the bar high into his other segments of songs. The rest of the chapters of his music will explain more of what he went through in his life while in the industry.